Can’t Blame You

Your words cut like knives

But I’m happy you’re doing things for yourself

I still wish you the best

Whether that’s with me or not

I’m sorry you’re not eating

Remember I tried to help too

I’m sorry you’re hurting

I’m not trying to sway you

I’m just as hurt and confused

I’m just as hopeful for you

But I’m a lot more than pretty words

I just need to write or I can’t escape…

It breaks my heart to hear you’re not well

You deserve better and that’s why I want to be better

Whether you’ll come back or not

 

I wrote this back in May… I’m sad you see me as an asshole, but I accept I was never good to begin with. It’s something I’m working on.

My 8 year relationship ended because we want the best for each other, and we finally recognize and acknowledge that we are not the best for each other. Despite all the work, despite the nights talking, despite trying time and time, we had to let each other go. Because she deserved much better, and if I were truly thinking of her best interest, I would admit that I had not treated her better. Therefore, as I laid alone in that field at a concert, I decided to give her the chance to find someone better.

Take care of yourself; I can’t handle the idea of you hurting. I hope you eat more, sleep more, and laugh more. I’m glad he helps you and I’m glad he makes you feel loved. I wish I was the man I am today for you back then. But I know that couldn’t have happened without first losing you. Just remember I left you because I doubted whether I could make you happy anymore. I wanted you to be with someone who could love you with his all. I want to be that person again. But in a weird way, I got my wish. Wubba.

Frank Ocean – Ivy

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alanwrites

unadulterated writing straight from my head entiendoenglish@gmail.com