Our Anniversary

A lot has happened since we met. I imagine myself at 16. If I could tell him how everything would end, I think he would be sad; he might not even want to be with you anymore and those 8 years might have never been. But I’m not sad about us. I’m happy we had our time. Maybe we’ll have more one day.

I feel like I’m starting at the beginning again when I had none of you. You were a dream I never thought I’d fulfill. I laugh at how I tried to woo you. Our story was never happy, but we had our share of happiness along the way. I laugh at our awkwardness and our stumbling. There were a lot of times you and I doubted whether we were meant to be. But we made a whole lot of something out of nothing. Things are different now. I won’t pursue you to hell and back. I’ll let you be.

Take my hand and lets you and I dance on that bench
Take my hand and lets stroll in the rain to our favorite diner
I’ll watch you eat chili cheese fries with pastrami
Wait for me in the darkest night, I’m sneaking out from the second floor
I took the leap but forgot to roll. I ran over, asthmatic, wheezing, breath heavy for you
Darling, I should have called you beautiful more. Don’t you remember I tried to everyday
Stare at me, please. Stare at me like you did with all the love in the world
I’ll cook a damn good steak for you. I know how you like your peppers –mustard fried
Can we share earbuds like in the movies? I want to dance with you
Swing you close and kiss you. I miss your eyes that don’t fully close
Can we share a cigarette? I know you don’t like that I smoke now
Can we play our games again? I’ll let you win and I’ll bundle you in the cold
I’ll call you a pet name, though ‘honey’ sounds like something old people say
‘Sweetie’ I’m saving for my daughter. Can I call you lovely? Lovely Lily,
Won’t you come home one day and we can be a family

an invitation into my head