I dreamt about my sister and I getting ready to take a trip. We were going to Portland. I was anxious since I knew I didn’t have enough money for the trip. But something told me it was necessary to go on this trip. My mom really encouraged us to go. At some point in the trip, I was transported into the wilderness. I think I was alone, wandering. There was rain, but then it quickly turned sunny, warm again.

If everything in dreams is the self, then I must think of what my sister represents to me. I think she represents forethought. I’m rather impulsive compared to her. Perhaps going on a trip with her means I have to think ahead more and prepare, maybe reconcile with an aspect of myself I tend to ignore. Ironically that meant spending money in my dream. Maybe I need to use my money more wisely? I don’t know. I’m not licensed to do this shit. I want to buy a Christmas tree for my family this year –nothing pricey, a small plastic one like the one we use to have. I think it can be a nice gift to them.

Today feels rather unproductive. I read, I wrote, and I read some more. But it doesn’t feel like I’m making any progress. Most days feel like this though, and it’s important for me to understand it’s just part of the process. I really enjoy the mornings now. These two hours are really for me to find balance and all.

I wanted to write a poem for you, but I’m going to smoke instead. This song will probably capture my feelings better than anything I write anyways: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwUEJt-o3Yk