Writing is also the words I do not write. Too many words can detract from the feeling. I think it’s like using negative space. There needs to be room to breathe. Yet every word needs to be placed with reason, with design: imagery, plot or character development, rhythm. It’s like the example of the English teacher and the blue curtains. Yeah, the curtains could just be fucking blue, but when you work with a craft long enough, when you appreciate the time and effort invested, you understand what it’s like to write with design, with intention. And you hope they do too. Writing, for me, is extracting from the subconscious and shaping it with conscious meaning. The better the writer, the better the shaping. Then again, the curtains could just be blue.
I think this idea of negative space should translate to my growth too; there needs to be some breathing room. I want to keep growing, keep having these epiphanies, and keep learning just like how I sometimes want to jam a bunch of words into a fucking sentence in an effort to shape a turd into something beautiful and it’s disgusting. It’s like I want to be constantly producing but I got to appreciate the breathing space too.
With my writing, I need to improve on maintaining tension. Palahniuk said it best when he said good writing is when you have to be with the tension; bad writing is when tension is resolved immediately. I think this tendency in my writing is reflective of how I’m still discomforted with confrontation, violence, the lurid, and my abusive childhood. If writing is shaping the subconscious and my understanding of Jung’s writing is the acceptance of the sometimes ugly subconscious, then I have to be brave enough to shape my writing into its truest form… But I suppose those are two separate aspects of writing: truth or beauty.
A quote from Lord of the Rings because I don’t know, I just like it:
“It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end… because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing… this shadow. Even darkness must pass.”