This blog has become rather stagnant. I want to invest less time in here; it’s like being in my room for too long -the sadness becomes stale. There are projects I want to pursue, and I think I have to invest time elsewhere.
There were two prophetic dreams you had when we were still together. I’m not sure you remember them. When you told me about them, I was incredulous; I would never leave you, I thought. You told me once that you dreamt that I was moving to SF to find myself. You told me you were heart broken. When you told me this, my heart panged. But your dream did happen. I went looking for myself, not in any distances but in the depths of my soul.
Do you remember your second dream? You told me we ran away together and eloped against the wishes of your family haha. I’m not sure what this means… but you had these dreams a year before we broke up. I don’t blame you. I told you before. You have nothing to be sorry about. I was wrong, and I accept the consequences. I don’t know what will happen, I’m starting to understand I have no way of ever knowing. But something in me is saying to keep a place for you. At the same time… I can’t be non-participatory in life; I have to accept things I deny for myself… because often those are things a person needs to grow.
Take care of yourself, and I hope you find happiness and peace.