I realize I have no connection to where I am and the people around me anymore. Maybe it’ll be better that I leave for good, move away for good. I still haven’t found the kind of relationships that push me forward. It’s been all on my own, and that’s amazing! I’m no longer afraid of driving. I can talk to anyone. I’m in the best shape of my life. I walk with confidence and my writing has been getting better. I’m incredibly hard working, and I feel as if I’m becoming uncommon among common people now. But no one helped cultivate this in me. It was just me… I think I’m longing for people to inspire me to better things, rather than always becoming that who inspires others. Is that a sign of a weakness? Maybe as David Goggins puts it, I want to be uncommon among the uncommon. I want to test my limits and be with people who have that same drive. I don’t see that around me… There’s just a lot of insecurity and people who won’t be honest with themselves, people who are really egotistic. Am I upset about this because I’m denying these aspects in myself again? I think I need today to just be alone and stew. Also i need to quit smoking. Sometimes i think it makes me more interesting as a person, but that’s stupid and weak shit.