I think about you everyday. sometimes, I wish i can wipe you from my memory, but I know there’s some value in this feeling. Look how much I’ve grown… I don’t know what it is yet, but it’s pushing me somewhere. I wanted to be a resilient person who appreciated everything I had, but I’m clearly not that. I suppose I’m a loner, always have been, always will be. That’s not to say I don’t have people whom I care about and people who care about me. Good things will come if I don’t let this hijack my thoughts.

I got some rest after throwing out my back. I think I either sleep weird or boxing has been too explosive on my body. Either way, I’m top heavy and I need to stretch my uneven legs. Nothing new, I’ve been through this pain and I know how to recover fast now.

I don’t really know where I’m going right now. I guess I’m lost again. I want to say writing is my calling, but I’m losing conviction again. Time to get back at it. I really need to quit smoking too. I keep seeing and hearing anti-smoking shit haha.

I talk to myself a lot. Several people told me to do so in the mirror. I remember Jack told me there’s sanity in solitude. I kinda just wanna get high, but weed’s probably not good for a mental case like me haha.

One of these days, I’m going to swim in the ocean and just get high on the beach.