I crave you like an addiction. But I have to remember I laid us to rest. I gave everything of myself. You gave everything of yourself. I apologized after the rain. I watched you leave in the morning. I must reign in my thoughts. I must kill my cravings for you every day – they’re not real; they’re longings for the past; there’s nothing to be sad about if I can see our time as something to cherish, something that shaped me into who I am today. If there’s any hope, if there’s any meaning to all of this, it’s that my wishes came true. You’re happy, you have love in your love, and you have the courage to go after your dreams.
I must remember I have control over my thoughts. I am my own master. I am not a slave to my emotions. I choose to spread joy to those around me. I choose to be better though I blunder and stumble. I must cast away habits that weaken me. I am confident. I am incredible.
I have seen the monster inside myself. I have seen the rat in myself. I have seen madness and greatness. I encompass all these facets. Though they reside in me, they do not define me. I have conquered them. I have conquered myself. I am king. I have pushed my threshold for pain. I have pushed my tolerance and patience. I have expanded myself, and I must be careful that these boundaries do not fall. I must not return to my weaker dimensions.
I have wandered the desert until exhaustion. I have bathed in the ocean and swam past my fears. I have held fire to my hand and never uttered pain. I have leaped off a bridge and saw the ground reach for me. I have endured hours of pain. I have fought another man until we laughed and embraced. I have done my best to raise up the people around me. I have used my talents to helped those in need. I have used my guidance to bring my family together. I have comforted many people in pain. I have sat in the quiet of the forest. I have felt the coldness of rain and winter on my bare skin while everyone around me ran for cover.
I do not need to share myself with anyone else. I have everything and anything I need to be whole. Though I wish to be in a better place in life, I have to remind myself that things do not always go according to plans and desires. There is still much for me to do and learn. I will leave in time. I do not need to throw everything away and leap into uncertainty to improve myself. I have the ability to recreate myself. I am OK. I must act, but the right things and people will find me in the right time. I must let go control of external factors, and control myself.