It’s time you accept yourself rather than constantly try to improve yourself. You’ve had a hard life. I’m really sorry Alan. Everything about your past, your family and your situation sounds really painful. You’ve become someone really incredible. But it sounds like you’re basing your entire redemption on her coming back. Maybe redeeming yourself and her coming back are two separate things.
I think you’re right. I wanted to become a person worth coming back to. She’s not coming back. It’s delusion at this point. But it’s the one thing that gives me hope lately. So apparently google thinks I’m suicidal. I just typed ‘why is life so hard’ and bam first thing is suicide hotline. stop caring for me google!
I believe it. All the improvements you’ve made will only find you someone really amazing as well. You’re the best person I know.
I was feeling like I didn’t belong anywhere, but this reminded me that somehow I found a place among others. Even at work, it’s become somewhat of a family for me.
I was taking a shit when I saw a lady bug trying to climb up the shower wall. “I’ll save you little buddy.” Idk it felt poetic watching it fly away outside. Like letting go of my ladyyy. It was probably mortified. Imagine just exploring some place and a giant takes a shit next to you then tries to transport you to a completely different location. I washed my hands dammit! I am a civilized giant!