It sucks but no one will be as perceptive and considerate as you are. It’s lonely, but no one can really give you what you give to them. You really are different. 

Well that doesn’t make me feel less lonely. No one can save me. I have to save myself. Happiness is not for me. Intensity and hard work is the only thing I can rely on. I cannot rely on others. I am strong enough not to rely on others.

It doesn’t make me like life. It doesn’t make me happy. It makes me think that my life is suffering. I almost cried in therapy when I finally told her that life has been suffering for so long. Oh well. Deal with it. Move the fuck on. Get my shit together. Face myself and my bullshit. I want a change in my life. I’m the only one who can help me. There is no kindness for me. I use to feel really sad when my mom told me I deserve all this pain because I did something fucked up in my previous life. Fine. So be it. I accept my loneliness. I accept my suffering. I accept my mistakes. It’s time to bring out my inner Goggins again.