294

Three points away from the minimum 297. I remember feeling disappointment in my gut, kinda like getting jabbed actually. Then I accepted it was my own fault for not studying enough (I mean I did 4 hours at least 4 times a week for the last 3 weeks). Something possessed me to add the scores again. And it turns out I scored 304! I almost slammed my fists down on the table in the quiet room. I added the scores up 10 more times just to make sure I wasn’t being a math idiot. I practically danced out of the testing center. The receptionist was like why are you so happy? Don’t get me wrong – it’s a shit score. But I qualify! They gave me locker 13 on July 13, your birthday… I fucking qualify! It finally feels like I’m not a fucking loser anymore… Like all my hard work and my confronting myself paid off. Next goal, write a damn good letter.

***

For some reason, I haven’t had the desire to write as much lately… I think I’ll always have writing, but it’s a balance of living life as well. I think I’m looking to experience more of life before I tackle projects. Writing is a luxury when you don’t have to depend your life on it, I suppose.